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Mic check one-two
Who woulda knew?
Who'da known?
Fuck woulda thought?
Motherfucker comes out
And sells a couple of million records
And these motherfuckers hit the ceiling
I don't do black music, I don't do white music
I make fight music for high school kids
I put lives at risk when I drive like this
I put wives at risk with a knife like this
Shit, you probably think I'm in your tape deck now
I'm in the back seat of your truck, with duct tape stretched out
Ducked the fuck way down, waitin' to straight jump out
Put it over your mouth and grab you by the face, what now?
Oh, you want me to watch my mouth, how?
Take my fuckin' eyeballs out and turn 'em around?
Look, I'll burn your fuckin' house down, circle around
And hit the hydrant, so you can't put your burning furniture out
I'm sorry, there must be a mix-up
You want me to fix up lyrics while the President gets his dick sucked?
Fuck that, take drugs, rape sluts
Make fun of gay clubs, men who wear make-up
Get aware, wake up, get a sense of humor
Quit tryin' to censor music, this is for your kid's amusement
But don't blame me when lil' Eric jumps off of the terrace
You shoulda been watchin' him
Apparently you ain't parents
'Cause I never knew I, knew I would get this big
I never knew I, knew I'd effect this kid
I never knew I'd, get him to slit his wrist
I never knew I'd, get him to hit this bitch
I never knew I, knew I would get this big
I never knew I, knew I'd effect this kid
I never knew I'd, get him to slit his wrist
I never knew I'd, get him to hit this bitch
So who's bringin' the guns in this country?
I couldn't sneak a plastic pellet gun through customs over in London
And last week I've seen a Schwarzaneggar movie where he's shootin' all sorts of these motherfuckers with a uzi
I see these three little kids, up in the front row
Screamin' "Go!" with their seventeen year-old uncle
I'm like "Guidance, ain't they got the same moms and dads' who got mad when I asked if they liked violence?"
And told me that my tape taught 'em to swear
What about the make-up you allow your twelve year-old daughter to wear?
So tell me that your son doesn't know any cuss words
When his bus driver's screamin' at him, fuckin' him up worse
And "fuck" was the first word I ever learned
Up in the third grade, flippin' the gym teacher the bird
So read up, about how I used to get beat up
Peed on, be on free lunch and change school every three months
My life's like kinda what my wife's like
Fucked up after I beat her fuckin' ass every night, Ike
So how much easier would life be if nineteen million motherfuckers grew to be just like me?
'Cause I never knew I, knew I would get this big
I never knew I, knew I'd effect this kid
I never knew I'd, get him to slit his wrist
I never knew I'd, get him to hit this bitch
I never knew I, knew I would get this big
I never knew I, knew I'd effect this kid
I never knew I'd, get him to slit his wrist
I never knew I'd, get him to hit this bitch
I never knew I, knew I'd
Have a new house or a new car
A couple years ago I was more poorer than you are
I don't got that bad of a mouth, do I?
Fuck, shit, ass, bitch, cunt, shooby-de-doo-wop
Skibbedy-be-bop, a-Christopher Reeves
Sonny Bono, skis horses and hittin' some trees
How many retards'll listen to me
And run up in the school shootin' when they're pissed at a teach-er
Her, him, is it you is it them?
"Wasn't me, Slim Shady said to do it again!"
Damn! How much damage can you do with a pen?
Man, I'm just as fucked up as you woulda been
If you woulda been in my shoes
Who woulda thought
Slim Shady would be somethin' that you woulda bought
That woulda made you get a gun and shoot at a cop
I just said it
I ain't know if you'd do it or not
'Cause I never knew I, knew I would get this big
I never knew I, knew I'd effect this kid
I never knew I'd, get him to slit his wrist
I never knew I'd, get him to hit this bitch
I never knew I, knew I would get this big
I never knew I, knew I'd effect this kid
I never knew I'd, get him to slit his wrist
I never knew I'd, get him to hit this bitch
How the fuck was I supposed to know?